Master these four key interpersonal communication skills

What are interpersonal communication skills?

Interpersonal communication skills are the abilities used to interact with others in various social contexts effectively. These skills include verbal and nonverbal communication, active listening, empathy, and emotional intelligence. They enable you to express ideas clearly, understand others' perspectives, and build meaningful relationships in personal and professional settings.

What are the 4 key types of interpersonal communication skills?

1. Verbal communication

Verbal communication uses spoken language to convey messages, ideas, and emotions. It includes the words chosen and the nuances of vocal delivery, including tone, pitch, volume, and pace. As a key interpersonal skill, verbal communication is critical in the workplace, shaping everything from daily interactions to high-stakes presentations. Mastering this skill can significantly enhance leadership effectiveness, team collaboration, and overall professional success.

Verbal communication skills can even make you sound more intelligent. In one study, The Sound of Intellect, researchers Juliana Schroeder and Nicholas Epley found that employers and recruiters were likelier to hire a job candidate when they heard the candidate’s (audio) pitch than when they read about them. This suggests that voice alone has the power to persuade.

Examples of verbal or oral communication

• Public speaking
• Phone calls
• Audio messages
• Podcasts
• Radio interviews
• In-person or virtual meetings

How to improve verbal communication

• Pay attention to intonation. Intonation, also known as pitch, means the rising and falling of your voice. Generally speaking, your voice falls at the end of a statement to indicate that you’re done talking, and it rises at the end of a statement when you are asking a question. There is something known as uptalk or upspeak, though, and research on Uptalk by Amanda Ritchart and Amalia Arvaniti suggests that it may be a way to hold the floor.
• Omit or reduce verbal fillers. Verbal fillers are vocalizations such as “um,” “uh,” “you know,” and “like.” They’re useful in that they help others know that you’ve got more to say and are just trying to find the words. This is particularly helpful when you’re on a phone call because if you are silent for too long, people on the other line may think the call dropped. When verbal fillers are used too much, they can be a nuisance for the listener. So, if you must use them, keep them to a minimum.
• Change your speaking rate depending on the situation. How fast or slow you speak can affect your audience. Speaking fast could be more persuasive, according to one study on Speed of Speech and Persuasion. Speaking slowly, on the other hand, could be seen as more kind. In a study on Supportive Care in Cancer published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, researchers Monica McHenry and colleagues found that listeners rated oncologists who slowed down their speech rate when delivering bad news as “more caring and sympathetic.”

3. Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is the silent language of human interaction, covering all messages conveyed without words. It includes a rich tapestry of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic cues such as facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, posture, touch, and even space and time. Beyond physical actions, it extends to personal appearance, environmental factors, and paralanguage (vocal characteristics such as tone and pitch).

In some contexts, nonverbal cues comprise up to 93% of communication meaning. They often reveal true feelings and intentions more accurately than spoken words, making them crucial for building rapport, conveying emotions, and enhancing overall communication effectiveness in both personal and professional settings.

In our workplace motivation research, we found that people fall on a range of neutral to affective communication. Affective communicators shine in nonverbal communication! They’re experts at reading nonverbal cues, making them masters of reading the room for effective negotiations, and they tend to have high emotional intelligence.

Examples of nonverbal communication

• Gestures
• Body language
• Eye contact
• Facial expressions
• Appearance
• Voice pitch, loudness, and pace

How to improve your nonverbal communication

• Mirror and match. Subtly mimic the body language of the person you're talking to. This technique, known as "mirroring," can build rapport and trust. Mirroring is a powerful tool in nonverbal communication that taps into our innate desire for similarity and connection. When you mirror someone, you're essentially "speaking their body language," which can make them feel more comfortable and understood.
• Understand others' unique communication styles. As mentioned, Marlee's research demonstrates that people either place importance on nonverbal communication and body language or focus on specific words and their meanings (or fall somewhere in between). Understanding these unique styles and adapting your communication to suit them can help you to improve. Curious about your style and that of your team?
  ❓ Answer questions on what motivates you to uncover your unique communication style and learn to flex it for better connections.
• Consider your posture. Stand or sit up straight with your shoulders back. This "power pose" projects confidence and can make you feel more self-assured. In a 2018 San Francisco State University study on posture, Professor Erik Peper and colleagues had students take math tests while sitting erect or slouched. After the math tests, 56% of the students said it was easier to perform the calculations while sitting up straight versus slumped over. So, avoiding slouching could be a simple way to tell yourself, “Hey, I’m feeling confident!” This could be particularly useful before presenting or giving a speech, as you’ll want to come across as confident to your audience.

4. Active listening

Active listening is a powerful interpersonal communication skill beyond merely hearing words. It's an intentional, engaged process of fully concentrating on, comprehending, and responding to the speaker. This technique involves verbal and non-verbal cues, such as maintaining eye contact, nodding, and verbal affirmations like "I see" or "Go on." Active listeners also provide thoughtful feedback, ask clarifying questions, and paraphrase to ensure understanding.

If you want one instant way to improve your people skills, practice active listening. In one study, Question-Asking Increases Liking, Harvard researchers Karen Huang and colleagues found that asking questions, particularly follow-up questions, made the speaker more liked by their conversation partner. This is because question-asking is linked to responsiveness, a characteristic of which listening is a part.

How to improve your listening skills

• Resist the urge to chime in. You know this common situation: your teammate is describing a problem they’ve encountered during a project, and you have something brilliant to add to the conversation. As tempting as it might be to blurt it out—hold it. Wait until they’re finished talking and then take the floor. It will also help avoid communication breakdowns since you'll listen to all they say.
• Practice empathy. Cognitive empathy involves “perspective-taking,” imagining yourself in another person’s shoes. It can help you feel some of what that person is going through and withhold judgment. It makes you a better listener because, instead of correcting or confronting them, you’re listening to understand them. You may not agree, but you’ll have a much more fruitful conversation if you attempt to see where they’re coming from.

2. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a crucial interpersonal communication skill that involves understanding and managing emotions—your own and others. A study on emotional intelligence in the workplace found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining 58% of success in all types of jobs. This highlights the importance of emotional intelligence in career advancement and leadership.

Emotional intelligence is especially important when managing diverse teams because it helps you navigate cultural differences, resolve conflicts, and create a more inclusive environment.

Examples of emotional intelligence in communication

• Recognizing non-verbal cues
• Managing your own emotions
• Adapting your communication style
• Conflict resolution
• Providing constructive feedback
• Building rapport
• Self-regulation
• Social awareness
• Relationship management (empathy and social skills)
• Stress management

How to improve your emotional intelligence

• Develop self-awareness. Regularly reflect on your own emotions and reactions. Understanding your emotional triggers and patterns can help you better manage your responses and relate to others. Consider keeping an emotion journal or practicing mindfulness meditation.
• Practice self-regulation. Learn to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions healthily, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances. This might involve techniques like deep breathing or counting to ten before responding in heated situations.
• ❤️ Start our free Increase EQ coaching program. Boost your emotional intelligence with our online AI coaching. Learn to recognize emotions, influence others, and build authentic connections. Develop impactful communication skills for success in work and life.

What's the impact of strong interpersonal skills?

It makes you likable (which helps you get what you want)

Mastering interpersonal communication in the workplace is crucial to achieving goals and convincing others. Being able to convey your feelings and messages clearly and effectively can help people like you more and understand you; they’re much more likely to work toward a common goal.

Our motivation research found that those highly motivated toward people are interested in getting along with others. So interpersonal communication is especially important if you fall into this camp. To understand your workplace motivations, answer questions on what motivates you and receive a detailed analysis.

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Our free Starter pricing plan includes one coaching program, such as Increase EQ, to help you increase your emotional intelligence.

It’s the reason a robot can’t take your job

Additionally, interpersonal skills are important because they’re the one area that can’t be outsourced to machines. You can’t take the “person” out of interpersonal; it’s unique to humans. So while robots can automate hard skills, they’ve got nothing on us regarding soft skills! (Read more about the difference between hard skills vs soft skills.)

It makes you a desirable job candidate

The 2017 Corporate Recruiters Survey Report surveyed 959 employers to learn what they were looking for when recruiting among business master’s graduates. When asked to rank skill sets based on their importance when hiring for mid-level positions, employers ranked communication skills as the most important. So whether you’re working in retail, call center services, or web design, being an excellent communicator can help you stand out.

Become a master of interpersonal communication

Now that you know the four types of interpersonal skills for effective communication, use what you’ve learned to increase your emotional intelligence and social skills, build stronger relationships with colleagues, be a better team player, and get your message across with less stress.