How empathetic are you? Unlock your EQ potential

How to know if you are empathetic

Empathy is the ability to tune into and understand others' emotions, even when their perspectives differ from your own. It allows us to connect with others based on our awareness of their feelings.

You might be empathetic if you:

• Listen attentively without judgment
• Easily sense others' feelings
• Support others without trying to "fix" everything
• Feel moved by others' experiences
• View situations through others’ perspectives

These traits indicate a strong capacity for empathy.

Importance of empathy in personal and professional relationships

Healthy relationships require empathy. In our relationships, empathy enables us to create safe spaces for others to express who they are (and share all of their emotions). This is especially true in romantic relationships. One study of romantic relationships found that individuals’ abilities to be understanding, compassionate, and sympathetic may relate to the amount of satisfaction and love they feel.²

Empathy is also essential in the workplace. No matter your role or seniority, empathy is a must-have trait for building solid work relationships.

In an episode of the McKinsey Talks Talent podcast, research psychologist Jamil Zaki at Stanford University said,

“Employees who believe their organizations, and especially their managers, are empathic tend to call in sick with stress-related illnesses less often. They report less burnout. They report better mental health and morale and a greater intent to stay at their organizations. People who feel empathized with also tend to innovate more and take creative risks.”³

Put simply, organizations prioritizing empathetic cultures develop healthier, stronger workplaces.

Another benefit of leading with empathy in the workplace is that it fosters more inclusive environments. Research from Catalyst also found that 50% of people with highly empathetic leaders experience inclusion at work often or always⁴.

Can empathy be learned?

Researcher Carol M. Davis suggests we can’t teach empathy because it’s an inborn trait⁵. However, more recent studies claim empathy results from nature and nurture. Some empathetic capacity is inherited, but we can teach it.⁶

We can develop skills that enable us to act more empathetically, such as active listening, offering support to others, and emotional regulation. As we improve these skills, we learn to be more empathetic. With the right tools and support, such as AI coaching, you can strengthen your emotional intelligence and build your capacity for empathy.

It’s also important to note that cultures may express empathy differently. Researchers indicated that social, cultural, and religious influences impact how different communities foster empathy⁷. They also shared that respecting cultural differences in empathy can help people become more empathetic because viewing differences as opportunities for intercultural interactions allows us to broaden our understanding of other religious and cultural perspectives.

Understanding the science behind empathy: how your brain cares

Psychologists and researchers recognize two forms of empathy: cognitive empathy and emotional empathy.

• Cognitive empathy describes an individual’s ability to recognize and understand how someone else feels in social situations. For example, a worker might realize cracking jokes in high-stress situations is inappropriate.
• Emotional empathy (affective empathy) refers to one’s ability to feel what someone else feels and share an emotional experience. For example, if you’ve ever sat near a crying loved one and developed tears, you’ve shared a sad experience.

Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and author, refers⁸ to a third type of empathy called empathic concern. This type drives someone to understand how someone else feels and take action to help them improve their situation.

Factors influencing empathy

There are a few factors that influence empathy levels, including:

• Neuroscience: Mirror neurons in the brain help us instinctively understand others’ actions⁹. Our brains respond both when we take actions in our lives and when we observe the actions of others.
• Genetics: One study found that empathy depends on genetic makeup, meaning our genetic empathetic tendencies are somewhat predetermined.¹⁰
• Environment: Supportive and nurturing environments with low-conflict familial relationships and friendships enable people to develop empathy¹¹. It makes sense that you learn to become empathetic by experiencing it yourself.

Empathy vs. sympathy: what’s the difference?

People often confuse empathy and sympathy, but there’s one key difference. Empathy involves experiencing and understanding someone else’s feelings. Sympathy involves feeling pity and sorrow for someone else’s suffering as they experience difficult emotions.

Characteristics of highly empathetic people

Individuals with high levels of empathy toward people share the following characteristics.

Active listening techniques

Immersing yourself in a conversation and actively listening allows you to act empathetically. Active listeners make direct eye contact, ignore distractions, observe facial expressions, and pay attention to body language. They must also understand what the other person might need in this situation.

Pausing for perspective-taking

Perspective-taking requires perceiving a situation from an alternate (or another person’s) point of view. Instead of jumping to conclusions, pause to consider a different perspective. Your understanding gives you more insight into how to respond next.

High emotional intelligence and self-awareness

Empathetic people are self-aware and understand their emotions, actions, and reactions. When we are self-aware, we can better understand how we show up in social interactions that impact others. Understanding our emotional responses helps us better understand others.

Non-judgmental attitude

A non-judgmental attitude requires listening without suggesting someone is right or wrong. Empathetic people hear and experience the conversation without labeling others’ experiences and feelings.

Vulnerability and openness

Embracing vulnerability leads to more compassion for others and ourselves. Without vulnerability, we can’t fully experience our feelings and thoughts, making it challenging to create space for others to do the same.

How compassionate are you?

Remember, empathy allows us to understand how someone else feels emotionally. Compassion drives us to take action and help other people through the emotions they’re experiencing.

Unlocking your capacity for empathy with our analysis

We’ve identified 48 traits influencing your energy levels and motivation for certain tasks. Analyzing your motivations by answering questions on what motivates you uncovers the blind spots that unconsciously block your capacity for empathy.

Our analysis (think of it like an assessment) will provide you with an instant report revealing your communication style. This will help you learn to communicate better with others and help you build stronger relationships through mutual understanding.

Empathetic people have a strong bias toward affective communication over neutral communication. Affective communicators place high importance on others’ tone, gestures, and non-verbal expressions. They may appear charismatic, expressive, and perceptive when communicating. However, they can also be more susceptible to misreading intentions and making assumptions.

Neutral communicators are careful with their choice of words and sentence structure, keeping emotion out of their conversations as much as possible. They have a knack for structuring sentences and compelling arguments. However, their communication may feel cold, lacking expression, and more abrasive.

Empathetic people tend toward open-mindedness and tolerance. They accept and appreciate individual differences. They recognize that affective and neutral communicators are valuable personality traits and offer different strengths. Empathetic leaders are compassionate and create positive team dynamics.

🌟 Boost your emotional intelligence with our Increase EQ online coaching program. Develop deeper connections and enhance your communication skills.

Four practical exercises to boost empathy

Here are some additional ways to develop your empathy skills:

1. Practice mindfulness and meditation techniques

Mindfulness boasts many benefits, including reducing stress and negative emotions, improving sleep, and reducing anxiety and depression. The more you practice mindfulness and get in tune with yourself, the better you can support and empathize with others.

2. Conduct role-playing scenarios to practice empathy

The more you practice empathy, the easier it is to show up empathetically across various situations. Team empathy exercises¹² bolster appreciation and connection and are a great way to practice empathy.

3. Dive into empathy-building books and other resources

Books, podcasts, and other empathy-centric resources can help you better understand empathy. With knowledge, you can change your behavior to become more empathetic.

Some examples include:

• The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Your Sensitive Self, Your Relationships, and the World¹³ by Judith Orloff
• I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships¹⁴ by Michael S. Sorensen
• Empathy: Why It Matters, and How to Get It¹⁵ by Roman Krznaric
• You, Me, Empathy¹⁶ podcast

4. Develop daily habits to cultivate compassion

Compassion often follows empathy. Increase your capacity for compassion to help alleviate others’ suffering when you experience it.

Compassionate daily habits include:

• Expressing gratitude (or gratitude journaling)
• Practicing self-acceptance
• Nurturing your relationships and letting others know you care

Real-life empathy: stories that will touch your heart

Nelson Mandela, an activist, politician, and the first president of South Africa, cultivated an empathetic habit of observing the perspectives of and acting for those in need. His level of care for others left a long-lasting impact on the world. Mandela famously said, “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”¹⁷

Photographer and founder of Humans of New York (HONY), Brandon Stanton, created a photoblog in which he had conversations with New Yorkers and wrote accompanying stories for his photographs of the people he conversed with. His active listening skills and care for others have allowed people worldwide to share their stories¹⁸ and feel heard.

Developing empathy makes all the difference

Empathy is vital in all human relationships and a skill we can learn to develop. It helps us connect with and understand others’ perspectives and feelings more deeply. You can become more empathetic and deepen your connections by developing your EQ to facilitate effective communication in your relationships.