How I learned to communicate with my Neutral manager (when I’m high in Affective Communication)

By Marlee Team

I was struggling to connect with my manager. I’m someone who leads with emotion; enthusiastic, expressive, quick to share how I feel. So when my manager responded with a steady poker face and calm, almost clinical language, I kept second-guessing myself. Was I too much? Was something wrong?

Turns out, it wasn’t personal. It was motivational.

Here’s how I worked through it using Marlee:

Step 1: I visited Boards and created a 1 to 1 Board

In Marlee, I created a Board with my manager so I could see both our motivational traits side by side. I was curious (and a little nervous) to understand what was really going on.

Step 2: I explored our communication differences

Under the Communication motivation group, I saw our combo: Affective (me) vs Neutral (them). I hit Generate Insights.

Boom. The insight was spot on.

“You have contrasting preferences regarding affective communication. They seem to place less importance on tone of voice and nonverbal cues, while you might strongly value these aspects. This suggests a potential difference in how they approach and interpret emotional expression in communication.”

That one line changed how I saw our interactions. It wasn’t that they were distant or cold. They were just communicating in the way that made sense to them. They prefer to keep communication calm, to-the-point, and emotionally steady. It’s not personal.

Step 3: So…what do I do with this?

Understanding the difference was one thing, but I still didn’t know how to change the way I communicate. I wanted to be myself, but also be effective. So I clicked Ask Marlee and typed:

“How do I better communicate with [@my manager's name]?”

And that changed everything.

Step 4: I got practical, actionable advice

Marlee suggested three shifts I could try:

• Keep updates concise, factual, and to the point
• Frame feedback in a calm, objective way
• Pause before reacting with emotion

It didn’t feel like I had to change who I was, just learn a second language.

And it worked.

What changed

I didn’t have to stop being who I am; I just started adapting how I delivered my message to how my manager receives it best. And that made all the difference.

Turns out, when you meet someone where they are, they’re more likely to meet you halfway.

Key takeaway

If you’re expressive and your manager isn’t, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad communicator or incompatible; it just means you’re speaking different motivational languages.

Marlee helped me decode that gap and bridge it, without losing my voice.

Struggling to connect with your manager?

Start for free with Marlee to discover your communication style and how to adapt it to better collaborate with your manager or team.